How to Communicate With Your Elderly Loved One About Their Health
It’s a sad fact that as we age, our bodies change. It is true for your elderly loved one as well. As their health begins to fade, they are unable to do things they have easily done before. And they feel this change deeply. And because they are worried that their family members may think of them as a burden, they would act as if nothing is wrong, which is very tricky since it can lead to more problems along the way.
As someone who looks after the welfare of your senior loved ones, it is important to take the initiative to communicate with them. However, doing that is never easy, knowing that seniors will often be argumentative or defensive when it comes to their health. Therefore, it is important to understand your seniors’ health before you discuss anything with them.
You may want to discuss some things with your older family member like a regular check-up, treatment options that the doctor suggests, and diet changes. Also, you need to discuss home modifications to improve their safety at home or whether it’s time to consider personal care, home care, or companionship support. You should approach this topic either in a calm manner or by showing concern for their well-being. But how are you going to do it?
This article will discover the best ways to communicate with your senior loved ones about their health.
8 Ways to Communicate With Your Elderly Loved One About Their Health
- Listen to Your Senior Loved One’s Concerns
When you listen and understand what your loved one is saying, you create a more fertile ground for conversation. Your senior loved one is more open to considering what you have to tell if you let your loved one speak his concerns freely without judgment. In addition, it could well be that your loved one is ambivalent and needs his time to think things thoroughly. Don’t rush to put words in their mouth. You might need to paraphrase what your loved one said to show that you understood them.
- Pick the Right Environment
There are several things to consider when picking the right environment. If your loved one is agitated, choose a quiet place for communication. It could be the dining table, living room, or bedroom. Another option is to choose a comfortable chair at the hospital or in their nursing homeroom. You could also schedule a visit for later in the afternoon when your loved one may be more likely to have some energy and interest in talking about their health with you.
- Ask a Thoughtful Question Instead of Just Giving an Advice
When you are trying to communicate with your elderly loved one about their health, the best thing you can do is ask a thoughtful and well-researched question. It will help you understand your loved ones and concerns much better. Ask them what makes them feel that way and why they feel that way. If you think your aging loved ones need to hear a hard truth like telling him, it might be time to give up the car. It could go a lot better to have a third party begin the discussion, like a physician and a family.
- Speak Clearly to Make Sure That You are Well Understood
You must speak clearly during the health discussion. You can either repeat what your loved ones said or paraphrase their concerns. Since they are not looking at you, they may not understand you properly. So, repeating what your loved one said would ensure that your loved ones are well understood. One thing to remember is to stick with speaking using more of an informal tone of voice.
- Include Other Family Members in the Discussion
Include other family members, like your siblings, in the discussion. But before you include your aging loved ones into that discussion, bring all the issues and concerns to the table and ask them what they think should be done. It will help you have a more fruitful discussion with your elderly family member. A unified consensus among family members regarding these transitions for aging loved ones is a more supportive environment than a divided family.
- Accept Differences of Opinions
Not all families are going to agree on what you think should be done. It means that the discussion is going to be difficult. It is okay if other family members have other ideas on how to proceed. But what you should try to do is find a middle ground agreement among the family members. If there are disagreements, don’t push your loved ones to make a decision they are uncomfortable with.
- Let Your Loved One be Part of the Decision-Making Process
If you want your loved one’s cooperation and keep them as active as possible, it is important that they feel like they are a part of the decision-making process. You should allow your family members to weigh in by asking their opinion and giving them all the information they need to make the right decisions. If your loved one agrees with what you plan to do, give them all the reasons for why you think it is necessary. It could be very helpful for you both if you can involve your loved ones in planning their future.
- Keep Notes from Your Important Discussions
You may want to take some notes and record your discussions during your discussions with your aging loved one. It will help you pick up on any key concerns you need to address later on. Also, there might be memories were shared that you may want to use later.
When situations come up in future episodes of your elderly loved one’s health, bring them up again and ask them if they remember it or if it happened before. It could help if you keep records of important conversations and events in the past regarding their health.
- Offer Your Loved One Choices Whenever Possible
Whether it be house cleaning, grocery shopping, or taking a walk at the park, it would be a good idea to let your loved one choose what to do. If they feel like going out to take a short walk or have a bite to eat, allow them. Be sure that the things you want them to do are things they can still safely do. If you have a senior loved one who is confined to their home and cannot leave, consider creating an environment for them that is as comfortable as possible.
- Pick Your Battles
Discussing every single issue at once can be embarrassing for an aging parent or loved one. Pick the issues that are the most important, let him know you are aware of the other issues, and then ask if he wants to talk about them later. For example, if your aging relative feels that he is not getting any exercise by walking to the store, ask how his doctor has suggested he should do more exercise. Perhaps there is a way for you to be his walking buddy during the next week or two.
There are a variety of effective ways you can communicate with your aging loved one. It is important that you first understand how their confusion and unclear thinking may affect their health. There are steps you can take to make the interaction more productive and beneficial for both of you. These tips will help you have a more fulfilling conversation with your loved ones regarding their health and help them feel that they have been heard.
Author Bio
I’m Andrea Gibbs, Born, raised, and still living in New York. I’m a work-at-home mom with a background in business development, strategy, and social media marketing. I’m a blog contributor at Serenity Senior care to motivate other parents about how they can enhance their elderly loved ones quality of life.
Guest Post: Senior Citizens and Technology: Benefits of the Digital Age
The younger generation may think that all of today’s technology is reserved only for their use, but that’s simply not the truth. Many areas of this digital age can greatly benefit senior citizens, and here are just five ways that older folks can use technology to enhance their lives.
1. Cellphones: Today’s seniors aren’t typically sitting home in rocking chairs or baking cookies. Active senior citizens may enjoy travel or fast-paced social lives, and this makes a cell phone the perfect way to keep in touch wherever you roam. While many phones are difficult to use and feature tiny buttons, there are some very easy to use cell phones for seniors that utilize large, easy-to-see buttons that are just perfect for the older population.
2. Advanced Recliners Nothing beats a hot massage at the end of the day. New technologies in recliners are ready for the 21st century. Today some power lift recliners heat, massage, and much more. They can even help you get up after your snooze.
3. Medical Alert Systems: If you’re a senior citizen who has been afflicted with health issues, then you can still live alone in your own home without fear. Many companies offer medical alert systems that allow you to wear a pendant-style device that can summon help with the press of a button. Others are programmed to call for assistance if a fall is detected, and there are even companies that track your movements through GPS so that you can be helped even when you’re away from home.
4. Computers: Internet companies are keeping senior citizens connected throughout the world. It’s a wonderful method of making new friends, joining groups with those who share your favorite hobbies and keeping up with local and worldwide news. Seniors may also keep up with their extended family and see related pictures through social media, shop online, research medical concerns and arrange for local services online.
5. Electronic Readers: Aging eyes can lose the ability to read normal-size print, and this is a great loss to those who have loved to read their entire lives. With the help of various tablets and e-readers, senior citizens can download books, newspapers and magazines, which can be read at any size that the individual requires. These e-readers can also change the brightness to suit your visual needs.
Sources:
https://www.theseniorlist.com/2015/01/2015-recommended-medical-alert-systems/
Why Companion Care is More Important than You Think
Many seniors admit that as they grow old, they prefer to settle down and stay rooted. Aging in place has its benefits, but some family members might be concerned about the state of their elderly loved ones in such cases. Concerns such as house chores, safety, and general isolation are a problem for these situations. In such cases, it may be time to consider companion care.
Companion care is a type of long-term care tailormade for seniors and tackles many of the challenges of living alone as an elderly person. Today, we’ll talk about the benefits provided by companion care, and why it’s so important for the elderly to have someone taking care of them.
Independence
A helping hand does not mean an elderly person becomes even more dependent. If anything, companionship actually enhances the feeling of independence. The fact is that as we grow old, we become less capable of doing self-sufficient activities such as driving or sports. Some family caregivers may also start losing their sense of freedom, as all their time becomes dedicated to their aging family.
A companion reduces all those worries. With a companion, the senior now has someone who can watch over them as they go about their daily life. They don’t have to be stuck at home because now, someone is around to watch them. Family caregivers also lessen their stress because they share the responsibility with a professional. In turn, this makes the elderly family member feel less guilty.
Strong social bonds ensure that an elderly individual continues to be happy and active, even in the twilight of their life.
Companionship
Unsurprisingly, something called companion care provides this benefit in spades. Social connections are important in raising the self-esteem of the elderly. A companion lets your senior loved one enjoy the big and small things with a friendly companion.
It’s a minor benefit to some, but people severely underestimate how much having someone with you improves one’s mental health. A companion assists your loved ones by teaching them important self-care rituals such as meditation, massage, and morning hygiene.
Validation
A lot of elderly people dread the fact that the world is passing them by. They operate under the false assumption that they are nothing but a burden, and for those suffering from diseases such as Alzheimer’s, this feeling is doubled in their moments of lucidity. The fear of being a burden only strengthens with every passing year.
A companion alleviates all those issues. In addition to helping the elderly’s quality of life, they also provide a comfortable presence for them. Depression in advanced age can be prevented by someone simply being in a home with the person. Companions communicating with your senior family member means they will always feel seen and heard.
For example, if a senior family member performs an accomplishment, such as succeeding at a difficult hobby or task, the companion is there to provide them with emotional support. Validation is a powerful thing because no person wants to feel alone.
Comfort
For the elderly, sudden change can be incredibly upsetting. Moving to a new place, their children leaving to start their own lives, and a plethora of other life stuff could be very detrimental to their mental state. Anxiety, fear, and depression are common for lonely senior citizens. Thus, most senior citizens prefer the comforts of settling down.
Companionship in a familiar place, such as a family home, leads to many benefits. Familiarity, comfort, and safety are only some of the benefits that come with staying in one place with a companion to care for them. Practically, it’s usually financially viable as there are no moving costs and also means they stay close to the friends they have made in the neighborhood.
Peace of Mind
Lots of family members may be concerned about leaving their elderly loved ones alone. Many senior adults do not like the idea that they make their children/younger family members feel “guilty” for leaving them. For the family who does choose to become caretakers, feelings of bitterness and depression may also ensue. Some cannot shoulder the anxiety of not having 100% of their time belong to them.
Hiring a companion fixes a lot of these issues. Some may balk at this idea as shoving responsibility of a loved one onto someone else, but that is simply untrue. Having your own free time is also important in caring for your loved one. They would not enjoy the idea of being your anchor (in the negative sense).
In addition, companions are trained exactly for this purpose. Certain things that you may struggle with are not a problem for a professional companion. They are trusted to give all of their focus to your loved one.
Conclusion
Companion care is a beneficial decision. The benefits above clearly outline why companion care should not be set aside as a “half-measure” in taking care of your elderly loved ones. Companions enhance your loved one’s life, and they are NOT a replacement for you. Make sure that you still visit your senior loved one regularly, and stay in contact with their companion for updates.
Guest Blog: 4 Legal Documents Every Senior Needs
Before your loved one has a health scare, it’s important to have these legal documents ready to protect them and your family. Start the conversation early about your loved one’s healthcare wishes and end-of-life care. Learn what legal documents every senior needs by reading on!
1. Last Will and Testament
Having a will ensures your loved one’s wishes for their estate are properly carried out after their death. If a person doesn’t have a will, state law determines what happens to their assets. It’s recommended that your loved one update their will every five years to keep up with changing circumstances in day-to-day life.
2. Advanced Directive
If your loved one is ever unable to make decisions for themselves due to memory loss or a serious health condition, the family is left to make decisions for them which could lead to disagreements about your loved one’s wishes. An advanced directive, also know as a living will, is a document used to specify your loved one’s health care decisions ahead of time. They can accept or refuse certain types of care (e.g. feeding tube, oxygen administration, life support, etc.) depending on what their wishes are.
3. Power of Attorney
By granting power of attorney to a trusted and responsible family member (proxy), this allows them to make decisions on your loved one’s behalf in case they are unable to. A standard power of attorney allows the family member to pay bills and write checks—while a durable power of attorney for medical care can make healthcare decisions for your loved one.
4. Do-Not-Resuscitate Order
A do-not-resuscitate (DNR) is a legal document that instructs health care providers not to provide life sustaining treatment if a patient’s heart stops or they stop breathing. If your loved one is nearing end-of-life care or terminally ill, they may not want to be resuscitated in a medical emergency. Only the patient or their health care proxy can sign a DNR order.
You can download a free starter kit from The Conversation Project to help guide the conversation with your loved one about their end-of-life care. Don’t wait until it’s too late.
About the Author: Peter Kang is a writer for eCaregivers. He is inspired by his caregiver experience with his late grandfather and role model, a Korean War veteran, to help families find affordable care for their loved ones. Follow Peter on Facebook and Twitter.