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Tips for Talking About Mental Health With a Loved One

According to the latest statistics from the National Institute of Mental Health Disorders, 1 in 4 adults in the U.S. face a diagnosable mental health condition. Sadly, many refrain from seeking help. When it comes to having a discussion about mental health with a loved one, it can be difficult to find a place to start. For the listener, it’s often difficult to find the right words to say or determine the best way to offer support. For the individual seeking help, it can be hard to describe just how they are feeling or even find the best course of action to do so. That is why we have compiled some advice to help you begin a conversation about mental health with your loved one.

Actively Listen

It’s a meaningful step for a loved one to open up about their mental health, so having an open ear to actively listen is key to understanding how you can best offer support. Being engaged in the conversation can be made easier by limiting distractions. Leave electronic devices turned off and put away when possible, and avoid bustling spaces like eateries or parks. Find somewhere private and comfortable. This will put you both at ease and also allow you to focus on what your loved one is expressing.

Don’t Judge

It’s also important to listen without judgment or comparison. It’s okay to share experiences that offer insight into coping mechanisms or that build trust and relatability, but try to refrain from making it a competition of who has it worse. This may make the individual seeking help feel as if their experience is not valid. Try your best as the listener to set opinions or biases aside to allow your loved one to express themselves without fear of disappointing you or feeling judged or embarrassed. Instead, listen with an open mind to learn and offer insight based on their specific mental health experience.

Do Your Research

When a loved one comes forward to discuss their mental health, it may be a challenge to really understand just what they are going through on a day-to-day basis. This is where ample research can help you as the listener. Find relevant online resources, like this example from WebMD, that give a digestible overview of specific mental health disorders that your loved one may be struggling with. Bring this research to the conversation and make note of their unique mental health experience and how it applies to what you have learned. This can allow you to be a better resource for next steps and set plans of action to help them cope with their mental health.

Be a Resource

Once you’ve determined the next steps based on the discussions you have had with your loved one about their mental health, set those steps in motion. Review everyday habits they can instill in their routine to feel a better sense of control over their mental health. Be present enough as well to know when to seek help that you, as the listener, can not provide yourself. This may include suggesting the need for professional help. Online psychiatry resources make it easier than ever to commit to routine help from professionals, all while staying in the comfort of your own space. As the listener, this can be a difficult topic to broach, but don’t be afraid to push your loved one to seek professional help if needed and reassure them that you will be with them every step of the way.

By |2023-08-25T18:57:19-05:00September 13th, 2023|Dr. Mauk's Boomer Blog, News Posts|Comments Off on Tips for Talking About Mental Health With a Loved One

Guest Blog: Questions To Ask When Selecting An Assisted Living Facility

If you have a senior loved one in need of assisted senior care, it’s time to look around for a good assisted living facility. There are several factors to consider, so the ideal thing to do is arrange for a tour of the facilities on your list.

It would help if you also asked questions. Getting the answers you need will determine which facility is ideal for your loved one. Here are some of the most vital questions you should be asking.

1. Questions about the staff.

You have to get all the information you can about the assisted living facility’s staff. You will be leaving the care of your senior loved one to them, so it is vital to ensure that they’re well-trained and experienced. Here are some helpful questions.

-What is the staff’s training and experience?

-What is the estimated number of staff members? What is your staff-resident ratio?

-Do you have staff working at night?

-Is there a nursing assistant or a nurse available 24/7?

2. Questions about living spaces, food, and activities.

After ensuring that your loved one is in good hands, you’d want to be sure their living spaces are comfortable, safe, and equipped with the necessary amenities.

-What are the room options we can choose from?

-Do they come with bathrooms, kitchens, and furnishings?

-Can residents decorate their apartments and bring in extra furniture?

-Is housekeeping part of the package?

-Do the rooms come with Wi-Fi connectivity and cable TV?

-Are residents allowed to bring pets?

-Are there common spaces for residents?

-What kind of activities can residents participate in?

-How are meals served to residents?

-Is there a nutritionist or dietician in the facility?

3. Questions about admissions and medication.

It is also essential to gather all the information you need about admissions requirements. Likewise, if your loved one needs medication, you also have to ask all the questions you can think of.

-Is an assessment test required before aspiring residents can be admitted?

-Do you have a waitlist for seniors who need to be transferred or relocated right away?

-How is medication administered and managed?

-How is healthcare provided? Are healthcare visits allowed?

-How much is the monthly fee?

-What’s the billing and payment process?

The answers to these questions will help you choose the best assisted living facility for your loved one.

About the Author

Melissa Andrews is the Content Marketing Strategist for Paradise Living Centers, an assisted living center for seniors with locations in Paradise Valley and Phoenix, Arizona. In her spare time, she enjoys cooking and going on hiking trips with her siblings and cousins.

By |2023-09-12T15:31:50-05:00September 12th, 2023|Dr. Mauk's Boomer Blog, News Posts|Comments Off on Guest Blog: Questions To Ask When Selecting An Assisted Living Facility

Grandparents Raising Grandchildren Series: When Grandma Becomes Mama

 

Being a Grandmother is a wonderful benefit of aging. The experience is truly all that your friends told you it would be. When you didn’t think you could love anyone as much as your own children, your grandchildren come along and prove you wrong. You can spoil them and send them home, feed them junk food and cookies for dinner, snuggle and take time to play like you didn’t have time for when you raised your own kids. And the best part is that all those things that would have made you a bad parent then, make you an awesome, fun Grandma now.

But what happens when, for reasons beyond your own control, your find yourself moving from the role of Grandma to Mom? According to the Profile of Older Americans (2016), “approximately 1 million grandparents age 60 and over were responsible for the basic needs of one or more grandchildren under age 18 living with them in 2015. Of these caregivers, 593,495 were grandmothers and 429,377 were grandfathers” (pg. 15). The role change from Grandma to Mama is a significant one. The little one you have spoiled and coddled is now yours to raise for the next 20 years into adulthood. This can be a shocking transition, but also a tremendous blessing.

This surprise happened to me at the age of 57. My husband had just retired and we had relocated to a more relaxing place in our life. We already had 7 children between us with an age span of 15 – 34 years of age, the last two of whom were adopted from Russia. So, when our teenagers were ready to graduate from high school, we were looking forward to being empty nesters, having raised children for many years.

Then, along came JJ. Substance abuse, which our pediatrician calls “the scourge of our community”, was the culprit that led to our current situation. This is a common problem, although not all children of substance abusers are fortunate enough to be placed in a loving home out of the influence of parents who use drugs. Our journey started when we offered to take our 6 week old grandson for a few hours so his parents could enjoy some free time together. Those hours turned into several days when the parents didn’t show up to get their son and nobody could find them. They didn’t call to check on him and seemed not to mind that they didn’t contact us for days. It wasn’t long before CPS removed little JJ from his birth parents due to their substance abuse and neglect of their infant and placed him with both sets of grandparents sharing temporary kinship care. Unable to break free of the chains of drugs, even with unlimited free resources and counseling provided by the community, JJ’s parents lost custody of him permanently and we became new parents again through adoption of our precious grandson.

The process of adapting to this life-changing event affects everyone differently. If you find yourself in a similar life-altering stage, then you may benefit from this series on Grandparents Raising Grandchildren. Today’s tips are for Grandmas who are now Moms again:

Some things have changed

If you are anything like me, your last biological child may be in his/her 30’s, so raising a little one might be a bit intimidating. Lots has changed in 30 years! There is so much more technology to help children learn and play. But this means we have become more tech savvy and not avoid the latest cellphones, computers, or apps. (Any teenager is happy to help you learn to be more techie). Toys are more fun now. Clothes are cuter. There are great innovations like disposable diapers, better bottles, and on-the-go baby food. Kids go to preschool and all-day kindergarten now. But, there are negatives too, like many more immunizations to keep track of. The world doesn’t seem as safe in the big cities as it did long ago when we let our children play outside without as much fear of gang violence, guns, or being kidnapped. Yet, there are more guidelines for child-rearing, research on how to educate kids, and better job opportunities for when they are grown. While all these changes may be daunting, you can use them to your benefit and to make your life easier when raising children in your later years.

Some things never change

Fortunately for us, some things never change. Babies are babies, kids are kids, and teenagers are still teenagers. Changing diapers, bathing a baby, suctioning a nose with the blue bulb syringe, putting clothes on a wiggly toddler, and rocking a little one to sleep are still the same. Strategies for teaching math have changed, and maybe kids don’t always have books in high school, but the major concepts of the major subjects are ones you will remember. Don’t worry – this will all come back to you and you might be surprised how much better you are at parenting now than when you raised your first set of children. You are more relaxed and comfortable because you have decades of experience to draw on.

Your experience is a plus

One of your best assets as a new Grammy Mama (as I like to call this role) is your experience. For me, I raised or help raise 7 children before JJ, so I am way ahead of the new mother learning curve. We already know what works and doesn’t work in raising kids. We are not novices, but seasoned experts! So, when you are tempted to feel you are not up to this new challenge, remind yourself that this is not your first rodeo.
You are not too old
It is a normal feeling to think you might be too old to raise another child. Let me assure you that you are not, and you are not alone. There are more than a million other grandparents in America just like you who are doing it, and many are older than you are. Your age gives you wisdom and experience. If you were in another job, you would be a Senior Executive, VP, or CEO – that is what you are in this new job. Embrace your Grammy Mama role. There is a reason why this child (or children) has been entrusted to you. You have been chosen for a remarkable task: to nurture a child who will later thank you for not giving up on him. You are never too old to undertake such a legacy as that.

By |2023-08-25T18:56:09-05:00September 5th, 2023|Dr. Mauk's Boomer Blog, News Posts|Comments Off on Grandparents Raising Grandchildren Series: When Grandma Becomes Mama

Pets Provide Significant Health Benefits

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Pets Provide Significant Health Benefits By Rachel Blankmeyer, DVM

Some of our closest companions, especially as we age, are our four-legged friends. The human-animal bond provides many benefits to people who may otherwise be isolated due to emotional, behavioral, or physical problems. Research shows several health benefits of pet ownership for older adults, including lower blood pressure, triglycerides, and cholesterol levels. A study by Friedmann & Thomas in 1995 showed that pet ownership actually resulted in increased survival rates after a heart attack. Other studies have shown that pets may provide social support similar to that of a family member for older adults. Consider additional general health benefits such as weight control and stress reduction, and pet ownership seems like a win-win situation!

You may have heard of the Alzheimer’s patient study performed by Edwards & Beck in 2002, where persons with Alzheimer’s disease observed a facility fish tank and demonstrated improved relaxation, alertness, and eating habits. This is a huge deal for patients dealing with dementia because at least 50% experience weight loss, increasing the mortality rate and progression of disease. Stroke survivors may also specifically benefit from animal companionship through improved communication, dexterity, mobility and balance. As a veterinarian, I may be biased, but the facts don’t lie: animals help all of us have a more active daily life, and can enrich our lives emotionally! So, consider the cost-benefit ratio:

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Adopting your new forever friend from your local shelter…$35
Pet food for one month…$10
Years of companionship and improved health…priceless.

By |2023-08-25T18:55:50-05:00September 3rd, 2023|Dr. Mauk's Boomer Blog, News Posts|Comments Off on Pets Provide Significant Health Benefits

How to Prepare for Senior Living

As Americans age, they must face the prospect of what to do when maintaining their independence is no longer recommended or feasible. The following resources from Senior Care Central will help you and your family figure out how best to make decisions about retirement communities, assisted living facilities, and nursing homes.

How Do I Know When to Make a Change?

Sometimes it is difficult to know when it’s time to change your living arrangements or those of an aging loved one. Check out these sources for help in knowing when the time is right.

  • Consumer Affairs lists 17 signs that it may be time to consider assisted living.
  • If you’re still unsure about moving into senior care, perhaps aging in place is an option, at least for a little while.

How Do I Know a Facility is a Good One?

Once you are certain a senior care option is necessary, you have to choose the location. However, there are so many facilities in operation that it can be difficult to tell which one is best for you or your loved one. Utilize these tools to make sure you’ve made the best choice.

  • There are several websites that rate retirement communities, so be sure to take these reviews into consideration.
  • However, many people are more comfortable with consumer reviews, so don’t neglect this source of information.
  • It also doesn’t hurt to check out what government inspection procedures are and to make sure the facility you’re considering has few if any citations against it.

How Do I Pay for Long-Term Senior Care?

It is hard enough figuring out senior care without even considering the costs associated with it, but sooner or later, the price of assisted living must be taken into consideration. Fortunately, there are many ways to make the cost affordable.

It may not be pleasant as you investigate options for senior living, but it will likely be necessary. The process can be confusing and stressful, but the resources discussed in this article will make the process a little easier to understand and navigate.

 

 

By |2023-08-25T18:55:33-05:00September 1st, 2023|Dr. Mauk's Boomer Blog, News Posts|Comments Off on How to Prepare for Senior Living
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